"It were no more than right," said he, "That I should get my fuel free… — The Devil's Dictionary
SAPIR 861
"It were no more than right," said he, "That I should get my fuel free. The duty, neither just nor wise, Compels me to economize-- Whereby my broilers, every one, Are execrably underdone. What would they have?--although I yearn To do them nicely to a turn, I can't afford an honest heat. This tariff makes even devils cheat! I'm ruined, and my humble trade All rascals may at will invade: Beneath my nose the public press Outdoes me in sulphureousness; The bar ingeniously applies To my undoing my own lies; My medicines the doctors use (Albeit vainly) to refuse To me my fair and rightful prey And keep their own in shape to pay; The preachers by example teach What, scorning to perform, I teach; And statesmen, aping me, all make More promises than they can break. Against such competition I Lift up a disregarded cry. Since all ignore my just complaint, By Hokey-Pokey! I'll turn saint!" Now, the
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