The Devil's Dictionary — Ambrose Bierce

The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce · الترخيص: Public domain · المصدر

• PICTURE, n. A representation in two dimensions of something wearisome in three. ¶1177
• "Behold great Daubert's picture here on view-- Taken from Life." If that description's true, Grant, heavenly Powers, that I be taken, too. ¶1178
• PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion. ¶1180
• Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains. ¶1181
• (in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman) ¶1183
• Cold pie is a detestable American comestible. That's why I'm done--or undone-- So far from that dear London. ¶1184
• (from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo) ¶1185
• PIETY, n. Reverence for the Supreme Being, based upon His supposed resemblance to man. ¶1186
• The pig is taught by sermons and epistles To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles. ¶1187
• PIG, n. An animal (_Porcus omnivorus_) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig. ¶1189
• PIGMY, n. One of a tribe of very small men found by ancient travelers in many parts of the world, but by modern in Central Africa only. The Pigmies are so called to distinguish them from the bulkier Caucasians --who are Hogmies. ¶1190
• PILGRIM, n. A traveler that is taken seriously. A Pilgrim Father was one who, leaving Europe in 1620 because not permitted to sing psalms through his nose, followed it to Massachusetts, where he could personate God according to the dictates of his conscience. ¶1191
• PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction --prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives. ¶1192
• PIRACY, n. Commerce without its folly-swaddles, just as God made it. ¶1193
• PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself. ¶1194
• PITY, n. A failing sense of exemption, inspired by contrast. ¶1195
• PLAGIARISM, n. A literary coincidence compounded of a discreditable priority and an honorable subsequence. ¶1196
• PLAGIARIZE, v. To take the thought or style of another writer whom one has never, never read. ¶1197
• PLAGUE, n. In ancient times a general punishment of the innocent for admonition of their ruler, as in the familiar instance of Pharaoh the Immune. The plague as we of to-day have the happiness to know it is merely Nature's fortuitous manifestation of her purposeless objectionableness. ¶1198
• PLAN, v.t. To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. ¶1199
• PLATONIC, adj. Pertaining to the philosophy of Socrates. Platonic Love is a fool's name for the affection between a disability and a frost. ¶1201
• PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it. ¶1202
• PLEASE, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition. ¶1203
• PLEASURE, n. The least hateful form of dejection. ¶1204
• PLEBEIAN, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution. ¶1205
• PLEBISCITE, n. A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign. ¶1206
• PLENIPOTENTIARY, adj. Having full power. A Minister Plenipotentiary is a diplomatist possessing absolute authority on condition that he never exert it. ¶1207
• PLEONASM, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought. ¶1208
• PLOW, n. An implement that cries aloud for hands accustomed to the pen. ¶1209
• PLUNDER, v. To take the property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of theft. To effect a change of ownership with the candid concomitance of a brass band. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity. ¶1210
• POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience. In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others. ¶1211
• POETRY, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines. ¶1212
• POKER, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown. ¶1213
• POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation. ¶1214
• POLITENESS, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. ¶1215
• POLITICS, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. ¶1216
• POLITICIAN, n. An eel in the fundamental mud upon which the superstructure of organized society is reared. When he wriggles he mistakes the agitation of his tail for the trembling of the edifice. As compared with the statesman, he suffers the disadvantage of being alive. ¶1217
• POLYGAMY, n. A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one. ¶1218
• PORTABLE, adj. Exposed to a mutable ownership through vicissitudes of possession. ¶1220
• His light estate, if neither he did make it Nor yet its former guardian forsake it, Is portable improperty, I take it. ¶1221

رجوعالتالي →كتب الحِكم