The Devil's Dictionary — Ambrose Bierce

The Devil's Dictionary

Ambrose Bierce · Άδεια: Public domain · Πηγή

• By his example fired--inclined To noble emulation, The country humbly was resigned To Leonard's resignation-- His Christian resignation. ¶1381
• RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve. ¶1383
• RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a _liaison_ between a bald head and a bank account. ¶1384
• RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs. ¶1385
• RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation. ¶1386
• Altgeld upon his incandescent bed Lay, an attendant demon at his head. ¶1387
• "O cruel cook, pray grant me some relief-- Some respite from the roast, however brief." ¶1388
• "Remember how on earth I pardoned all Your friends in Illinois when held in thrall." ¶1389
• "Unhappy soul! for that alone you squirm O'er fire unquenched, a never-dying worm. ¶1390
• "Yet, for I pity your uneasy state, Your doom I'll mollify and pains abate. ¶1391
• "Naught, for a season, shall your comfort mar, Not even the memory of who you are." ¶1392
• Throughout eternal space dread silence fell; Heaven trembled as Compassion entered Hell. ¶1393
• "As long, sweet demon, let my respite be As, governing down here, I'd respite thee." ¶1394
• "As long, poor soul, as any of the pack You thrust from jail consumed in getting back." ¶1395
• A genial chill affected Altgeld's hide While they were turning him on t'other side. ¶1396
• RESPLENDENT, adj. Like a simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade. ¶1398
• The Knights of Dominion were so resplendent in their velvet- and-gold that their masters would hardly have known them. ¶1399
• RESPONSIBILITY, n. A detachable burden easily shifted to the shoulders of God, Fate, Fortune, Luck or one's neighbor. In the days of astrology it was customary to unload it upon a star. ¶1402
• Alas, things ain't what we should see If Eve had let that apple be; And many a feller which had ought To set with monarchses of thought, Or play some rosy little game With battle-chaps on fields of fame, Is downed by his unlucky star And hollers: "Peanuts!--here you are!" ¶1403
• RESTITUTION, n. The founding or endowing of universities and public libraries by gift or bequest. ¶1405
• RESTITUTOR, n. Benefactor; philanthropist. ¶1406
• RETALIATION, n. The natural rock upon which is reared the Temple of Law. ¶1407
• RETRIBUTION, n. A rain of fire-and-brimstone that falls alike upon the just and such of the unjust as have not procured shelter by evicting them. ¶1408
• In the lines following, addressed to an Emperor in exile by Father Gassalasca Jape, the reverend poet appears to hint his sense of the imprudence of turning about to face Retribution when it is taking exercise: ¶1409
• REVEILLE, n. A signal to sleeping soldiers to dream of battlefields no more, but get up and have their blue noses counted. In the American army it is ingeniously called "rev-e-lee," and to that pronunciation our countrymen have pledged their lives, their misfortunes and their sacred dishonor. ¶1411
• REVELATION, n. A famous book in which St. John the Divine concealed all that he knew. The revealing is done by the commentators, who know nothing. ¶1412
• REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man. ¶1413
• To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it, Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it) At work upon a book, and so read out of it The qualities that you have first read into it. ¶1415
• RHADOMANCER, n. One who uses a divining-rod in prospecting for precious metals in the pocket of a fool. ¶1417
• RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. ¶1418
• RIBROASTER, n. Censorious language by oneself concerning another. The word is of classical refinement, and is even said to have been used in a fable by Georgius Coadjutor, one of the most fastidious writers of the fifteenth century--commonly, indeed, regarded as the founder of the Fastidiotic School. ¶1419
• RICE-WATER, n. A mystic beverage secretly used by our most popular novelists and poets to regulate the imagination and narcotize the conscience. It is said to be rich in both obtundite and lethargine, and is brewed in a midnight fog by a fat witch of the Dismal Swamp. ¶1420
• A gift from Heaven signifying, "This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased." ¶1423
• The reward of toil and virtue. ¶1425
• The savings of many in the hands of one. ¶1427
• To these excellent definitions the inspired lexicographer feels that he can add nothing of value. ¶1429
• By what right, then, do royal rulers rule? Whose is the sanction of their state and pow'r? He surely were as stubborn as a mule Who, God unwilling, could maintain an hour His uninvited session on the throne, or air His pride securely in the Presidential chair. ¶1432
• Whatever is is so by Right Divine; Whate'er occurs, God wills it so. Good land! It were a wondrous thing if His design A fool could baffle or a rogue withstand! If so, then God, I say (intending no offence) Is guilty of contributory negligence. ¶1433
• RIME, n. Agreeing sounds in the terminals of verse, mostly bad. The verses themselves, as distinguished from prose, mostly dull. Usually (and wickedly) spelled "rhyme." ¶1436
• RIMER, n. A poet regarded with indifference or disesteem. ¶1437

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